There haven’t been any updates for a few days because I’ve been mostly sleeping and resting, trying to recover from my expedition at the weekend! With a great deal of help from my husband and in-laws, I left the house to embark on an epic journey down the road to meet our new flatmate:
Now when the rest of this post gets boring, you can scroll back up and squee at how cute he is.
I read something interesting about adrenaline surges (http://www.hfme.org/adrenalinesurgetips.htm), which says that a lot of what people with ME do is done on adrenaline, which leads to the whole overdoing it and needing to rest thing. It made a lot of sense actually, and reading the guide just made me think ‘okay wow, I do a lot on adrenaline’. It also explains why I crashed after attempting 2 weeks of ‘normal’ activity. Based on that description, I don’t think that my pacing is going that well. I’m relying on adrenaline to do a lot of things that I need/want to do; you can see that in the list of pacing baselines, where I need rest afterwards. When it comes to some of these things though, I think they’re too important to not do – but I need to incorporate deliberate rest either side, to reduce the impact. Deliberate rest at set times during activity as well, not just when I feel tired. I mentioned in a previous post how I noticed I feel tired at certain limits; well this would indicate that I’m probably running out of an adrenaline rush at that point, so I need to actually be putting limits before that. Rest purposefully, be patient.
I hate the realisation that I’m more ill than I think I am.
Things are worth the need to rest though! Like not being able to do much for a week so I could choose a kitten! And having people visit me – that’s a big one. I need to rest before and after, and I can’t do more than a couple of hours without it wiping me, but it is so so so worth it. I can’t really emphasise that enough. If it laid me up for a week, I think it would be worth it to see people – which sounds remarkable to me, since I’m such an introvert. I’ve had three visits in the last week, and each time it’s lifted my spirits so much. Also, some of my church pals brought me flowers (yay!) and insisted on cleaning my kitchen and hoovering for me! It’s such a blessing to me, because I can’t do these things anymore, and part of me feels bad because of that. The love of people in my church has been making me think of Matthew 10:42:
And whoever gives just a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is a disciple—I assure you: He will never lose his reward!
In my opinion they are doing more than bringing me a cup of water. I find myself praying that the people who are being merciful to me (praying for me, chatting to me, visiting, doing my washing up) will be blessed and rewarded by God just like this. There’s nothing I can do in return except sit there looking kinda awkward! But I know that just like God is looking after me and blessing me through these people, he will bless the people who are taking care of me on His behalf.
It’s hard for me to express emotions well to people I’m not close to, so I don’t know how to express how much it means to me when people take time out to come to my far out flat and have a cup of tea with me.