I felt a lot better this morning (Well, early afternoon, but I like to pretend!) which was refreshing. Then I went and ruined it by sitting up in a chair and tidying my dresser for about twice as long as I should have… now everything is pain and tired. After that I tried to hang up some washing and now I my arms are on protest :( I’ll have to leave the rest of it for my husband to deal with, which is irritating because I don’t like making him do all the housework. Living and learning by doing dumb things – woo!

On a brighter note, I’ve been trying a purposeful rest approach to pacing. For every hour I’m awake, I’m trying to spend 10 minutes of that hour totally resting (as in, lying down in the dark doing nothing). Actually it’s ending up as 15-20 minutes, since I’m generally lying there until I feel rested again, but it seems to be working better so far than ad-hoc, so I’ll keep it up for now!

I also tried using epsom salts (magnesium sulphate) in a warm bath, to see if that eased muscle pain. If you’re experiencing muscle pain due to a magnesium deficiency in your muscle cells, this can relieve it since you can absorb magnesium through the skin. It wasn’t any more soothing than a normal bath though, and now I’m in quite a bit of pain again, so I guess I’m not magnesium deficient – which is a good thing. It was worth a try, anyway. However, my skin is lovely and smooth now, which seems to be a more universal benefit of epsom salts – guess I’ll finish the packet for that at least.

My husband is off work tomorrow, which gives me the opportunity to attend church (since a kind person offered us a lift). I really want to go back, and be kinda normal, see people, worship God… participate.

The issue is this: going to church isn’t a matter of needing a lift, and that’s it. I need physical support from someone else to get down the stairs (exhausting on its own). Then I have to walk from the base of the stairs to a car – which is about the limit of how far I can walk with assistance. Then I have to walk from the car to the church, and sit in a noisy building full of noisy people all talking (sensory overload). Then super-loud worship set, followed by 30 minutes of concentrating, followed by super-loud worship set, followed by more noise and talking. Then we have the reverse of the getting there – back to the car, back to the flat, carried up the stairs in short bursts. I don’t think that I can actually manage to do all that, especially when I consider how long it took me to recover from my much less stressful journey last sunday.

There is the the possibility of reducing the stress it somehow, but in order to take it down to a tolerable level I basically need to cut out all the fellowship and worship, lie down by myself in a dark room and listen from there. It seems like taking all the elements of church that are important out of it, so that I can go and merely be exhausted for the rest of the week. I’m better off listening online.

I’ve decided to stay home for tomorrow at least, and listen online. Hopefully they’ll get the video link sorted soon and I’ll be able to watch properly (if this keeps up). I’m still not sure if it was the right decision or not.


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