Rush

I feel really good today. Pre-crash good. Doing-things good. Up-and-about good. A wee bit achey of course, and my heart’s a bit fast, but… good.

I was asleep early last night, which meant I was up before midday, and I decided to start tackling the state of the flat. I’m a wife, I’m stuck in the house… Housewifing time! I figure that even if I can only do one small thing at a time, it’s worth the effort to be contributing to our lives somehow. I started with organising the DVDs and games, trying to free up some boxes for putting our non-Mr.Scratchy-friendly items in. Started out tired and slow, as always. After a while, I felt fine. I’m shifting piles like my arms don’t hurt, standing up for minutes at a time, sorting like a pro – and I don’t feel any of it!

Alarm bells.

My husband wasn’t around to spot an adrenaline rush. Fortunately, an hour or so in I realised this was odd. Part of me is saying ‘woo! You’re fine now, you’re fine, you’re getting better. This is great!’. A more sensible part is saying ‘Stop. Right now. Pace on the good days or the bad days will hit even worse.’

I know that potentially I can keep running on adrenaline for days, weeks, maybe even months. But last time I did that, the crash left me like this. Its dangerous.

I rested for a few hours, then did some more. This time, it was the shaking of my legs and sudden pain which warned me I had gone way too far. Although I did rest, I didn’t manage to calm down much, and I definitely did too much when I wasn’t resting. Hopefully I haven’t incurred too much debt, but we shall see. If it is, as I hope, my condition improving then I should get away with all this activity. If not, then I guess payback will start within a day of me calming down.

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