The visit to the doctors went great. Approximately 70% of the greatness was due to me being able to sit outside in the sunshine. It was bright and beautiful and warm. I didn’t want to go back into the flat.
Sadly though, none of my blood tests showed anything except for some inflammation – which doesn’t tell them much. It is what you’d expect to see in ME, but you’d also expect it for thousands of other things, so it pinpoints nothing. But, thanks be to God because the doctor I have is listening to what we are saying, and is referring me to see a neurologist. Woo! He also said that it being psychological is a possibility but he doesn’t think that that’s the case – possibly the first time I have ever heard a doctor suggest that something they don’t know the cause of is not all in my head. Win!
A couple of weeks ago I was officially removed from my course, deferring until next year. This means I’ve had to sort out finances… turns out, student finance think that the semester and a half I was enrolled for this year only warrants £300 to live off, so not only have we lost a signficant part of our income, we probably have to pay back a lot of what we’ve been living off this year. We can pay that back but it is going to cost us most of our savings.
So… benefits. Not a route either of us wanted to go down ever, but we’ve grown strangely accustomed to food and shelter. I’d put off applyng (because I didn’t want to) but now we’re in a panic to get forms in and everything sorted. It’s scary because right now there’s no guarantee we’ll have enough to live off, and the current climate is very prejudiced against disabled people; they seem to have made the system an ever-increasingly-difficult maze, designed to kill anyone brave or desperate enough to enter in search of help.
I’m kinda scared, and I’m kinda excited. God loves us and will take care of us. God clothes the flowers; He can be depended on to take care off us. We can air-guitar along to `Living on a Prayer’ with great gusto, and depend on Him to come through. Please pray for us, and watch Him answer.