When I can’t shut up

I can really relate to the whole “no one can control the tongue” thing. I mean, I’m fairly good at holding my peace, of restraining myself when speaking will just make everything worse. Sometimes telling your side of the story just isn’t going to help anything. But sometimes, I can’t shut up.

Especially if I’m angry.

It’s worse because this week, I realise I’m staying with someone who just Does Not Understand what I am saying. I have been trying to get them to understand for most of my life, and I should know by now that it’s a lost cause, but something snaps and I cannot not say something. Even though it’s useless.

…but the government has destroyed the NHS. Do you not understand that? The NHS is GONE. I don’t care if your MP is “a nice bloke”, it’s his party’s policies that are directly responsible for this.

…but people are starving to death in the UK. Starving to death. In the UK.

…but we are supposed to “submit to one another in love”! Where is giving up the place of authority like Jesus did, and serving like Jesus did? What they propose leads to abuse and break up of relationships. It is embracing the curse that we are supposed to be breaking.

…but people are killing themselves because they can’t care for themselves. They are told they are lying and they don’t have enough money to eat or live, and they need care every day which they can’t get, so they kill themselves.

…but that’s not what the Bible says! That’s human rules made to look religious!

…but I don’t care if the BBC reported that, it is a lie. Go look at the figures for yourself. No, actually look for yourself, and work it out in your head. It-is-a-lie. Just because it’s in the paper, doesn’t mean it’s true.

It’s futile and foolish because it all falls on dead ears. Usually I know, I can tell it’s useless to say anything, because they are so set in their ways they won’t hear any of it. But for some reason, here today, I can’t shut up about these things that make me so angry. The things that are destroying our world.

Who wants to hear a clanging gong? It’s just off-putting. I want to live a life which shows what I believe, and have an answer ready – not just spout my mouth about stuff in a way which won’t make a difference. I want to bide my time and say it clearly when it will be listened to. I think today all my words are being wasted, but I’m angry about all these issues, really angry, and I can’t seem to shut up.

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